Ben smokes a Pall Mall in his dark brown chair in a dark brown apartment. Thinking he's Andrew Schmidt or something.
(Hoarsely) Can we get mascara from Walgreen's?
Yeah, I need cigs.
(Suddenly appearing) Hey! Can I Come? Please! I wanna come. Let me come!
Ben sits in his brown chair, chewing on his soggy Pall Mall. Mike sleeps soundly on the couch. Colin Van Winkle sits next to him, stoned, talking about art. Mike gets up and the couch breaks. The space that Mike once occupied is elevated three feet in the air while Colin Van Winkle weighs down the other side to the floor, giggling.
Mike, What the Fu...
(Coyly) Ben, can I sleep at your apartment tonight?
(Accepting the challenge) Whyyyyyy Mike?
Because I don't feel like going home.
Mike sinks into the chair
Colin Van Winkle
(with a hint of fuck-off) Go home Mike
Objects in Ben's house flood the floor.
Someone leaves a lifeguard chair, so, as usual, Ben keeps it and uses it. Ben sits silently peering over the top of his macbook. Like some sick pervert. In the pool--that Ben installed for the kids--stand Kate and Kevin, drowning. Ben takes the last 3 cigarettes in his Pall Mall box, and throws them like lightening bolts at their sad faces.
Noooooooooo! I don't want to be bothered!!! Nooooooo!!!!!!! I'm going to sleep!
And there they stood, in the Moppy poop water, shocked and speechless.
Ben sucks on the snake that was, in fact, Dane's hookah. Dane and Kevin sit mellowly.
So, uhhhh, Kevin, do you like this flavor?
I like dis Latin flava!
Suddenly Dane's bison ass and Kevin's Latin ass dance the cha-cha wildly, while Ben takes a sip of marijuana.
Inside of a flower-cloth peace sign, Ben watches Voluptuous and Beyonce leave. He then retreats to the ashtray he calls his chair.
Ben, with an ashtray on his knee.
Ben suffers from red eye and the giggles as he realizes that he can no longer think. He writes a poem about the world ending and munches on an Orffs. He resolves never to smoke marijuana again, but then is distracted by the humping, knocking noise at the ceiling of his brain. He staggers like a haggart to his bedroom window pushing the screen through...
(Yelling) Can everyone just take a dose of Fuck-Off!"
Just then, Laura knocks mushily on the door...