Monday, March 30, 2009

The Marriage of Colin - A Play

It was the worst snow storm ever.  In anyone's memory, it had possibly been the largest snowfall ever, in Milwaukee.  This was only because most people just didn't remember anything at all.  Dangers of ice storms and blizzards and sleet the size of cats.  These are the kinds of things you would concern yourself with on a night such as this.  Driving a car that was manufactured roughly 5 years before they were born.  2009-1989=20? 20+5=25.  This car did not remember how to work.  A brilliant plan to smoke cigarettes and drink coffee was, in fact, all one could do, in a situation like this.  It was 3 a.m. and John had lost his mind already.  

Colin
Damnit John, are you going to do your homework?

John
Colin, why are you attacking me like this?

Colin
Do it, do it now, otherwise you'll complain

John
About what?

Colin
You'd be like, "I didn't do my homework, and spent all of my money"

John
Pfft.

Colin
What is that?

(pause)

The waitress brings the soup.  The one that looks like John's mom.

John
Well, before you bash me for being lazy, I am OFFICIALLY quitting smoking

Colin
Pfft.

John
Im serious!  

Colin
Ha

John
I have finally decided after dealing with quitting during school, which is complete bullshit by the way, because it fucks up everything, and I can't focus, and I can't think.  Like I need one to do a paper

Colin
Yeah... Tom Waits would appreciate that

John
Speaking of... I am out of cigarettes... can I bum one?

Colin
What? Wait, no, fuck you.  You always do this

John
What?

Colin
You always smoke alot, so that you finish your pack, because you know that I'll bum you cigarettes later.  

John
Yeah, but at least I always ask

Colin
What? you don't ask, you always take them.

John
Fine, I'll just smoke that butt in the ashtray

Colin
What?  Ughhhhh, you can have ONE.  But your being a little bitch

John
I'm being a little bitch?! Come on I just asked you for a cigarette man, your being a little bitch.

Colin
What?! Fuck you, you know what?  You are not having a cigarette.

John grabs one.

Colin
Ughhh... 


1 comment:

  1. These plays you've been writing are really nice. Keep it up dude!

    ReplyDelete