Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Day 1 (3/18/09)

A boy decides to quit smoking
1. He MUST throw his cigarettes out
2. The place in which the tobacco is thrown must be out of reach, otherwise man will dig through the garbage and smoke the cigarettes in 2 hours
3. He must refuse the temptation to smoke his "last cigarette", it is only a lie if man does not include this step
4. Man must distract every temptation, he has proven time and time that he has no will for this sort of thing
5. Man must not anticipate a bad day, for in fact, it will be beautiful, and he has many things to do
6. Worry about not smoking until man goes to bed for the day, and then repeat next day, and the next
7. Man must not drink coffee, he must drink tea, he has seen the movie "coffee and cigarettes too much"
8. Man must not listen to Tom Waits, period
9. Man must be around smoking, and get used to saying NO, MY BODY SAYS NO!
10. Man must realize that in no situation, can a cigarette make a situation MORE positive
11. Man must fight the headaches with aspirin or tea or something, or just deal with them
12. Soon he will feel drowsy, Soon he will be cranky and coughy, only if he lets himself
13. He must voice that he is quitting, so everyone can tell him to chill the fuck out when he is cranky
14. Fasting is worth it, if it will help not smoking after a meal
15. Start contemplating what he will do with his $1,820 extra he will have next year
16. He must drink lots of water, he has been poisoning himself for 2 years and 7 months, and must rid himself of the initial toxins in his body
17. He must eat mangoes, they hydrate the lungs, and help restore them
18. He must avoid gas stations at all costs, and eat light meals
19. He must accept a hookah willingly, but not forcefully, and he must not seek one
20. He must prepare for the 3 days it usually takes him to get past the urge. He must watch time pass, because until that time, he will not be a free man, he will be in isolation, and behind bars.


  1. oh god. i hope i never have to go through that.
    you can do it! if my mom did it, you can do it!