Friday, April 3, 2009

The Travelogue Will Be Erased!

Scene I

Late Winter, at North Bartlett, Milwaukee.  Rain, Snow, Sleet, Ice, Wind, Flu, Cold, Slippery, and Death were everywhere.  

enter Colin VW and Ben

Colin VW
(epically) We will defeat Winter Ben!  Didn't ya hear?

Ben
(hoarsely) Yeah Colin, just like we'll defeat death

Colin VW
Come on Ben, summer is almost here, summer is going to, be RAD, everything is perfect, we will all have apartments

Ben
(singing)
Tuesday Wednesday or Thursday
Someone's gonna die...

enter Kate and Kevin

Kevin
Hey dudes

Colin VW
Hey sly guy!

Kevin laughs like a grandpa

Kate
ughhh Kevin, I need an object to write my Anthropology response on, it's so fucking laaame.  Mushys doing Andy Warhol

Kevin
Well, maybe you could use yourself, ya know, because your an object

Ben
Kevin, your such a chauvinist pig!

Kate bites Kevin, enter James and Steve

James
Hey dudes

general excitement

James
Hey guys! Isn't this weather great!

Steve
Shutup James!

Ben
Yeah James, everytime I go outside I want to die

Steve
Yeah, I'm losing my fucking mind

James
(matter-of-factly) Well... ya know, I love it, I love scarves, I love Gap pants, I love warm winter pea coats, OH!, and this fine young Polish man!

enter John

John
...and what a fine young Irish man, my Catholic brother!

James
Ah! yes yes! yes yes!

Kate
Cyaaaaaaa

exit Kate and Kevin

John
Where the hell are they going?

Ben
Probably to masturbate

John
Yeah probably

Colin VW
YEAH, what the fuck

James
heh, you mean to...

Ben
..give each other handjobs

John
Ben, did you get beer?

Ben
(with sass) No John, did you get beer?

John
Well, did you call anybody?

Ben
No John, did you?

Steve
Hey...guys...  I... I think... Joe's... got... .. got some Bart.....

Colin VW
He said he can't come!

Ben
Awww damnit, he's on a leash

John
Fuck

James
Well guys, ya know, we can just make some tea, it will be delicious, and wonderful

John and Steve
Yessss

Ben
I'm going to make some coffee

Colin VW
John, can I steal a Camel Light?

John
No, I'm broke

Ben
You can have a pal Colin

Colin VW
Thanks Ben...(lights cigarette)... Hey Ben, I love Pall Malls

Ben
They're great

everyone walks to kitchen

Steve
Hey, James, can you make some Pu-Pu tea?

Colin VW
Poo Poo Tea!

John
How about some Chinatown Oolong?

Ben
Guys those aren't real, Outpost made them up

John picks up bag of nice coffee

John
Whoah, your makin' some of this?

Ben
Maxwell house

John
Oh... Why aren't you making this?

Ben
That isn't mine

John
Who's is it?

Ben
I don't know

(pause)

James
Ya know, I almost prefer, like, George Webbs coffee, sometimes you need a kick in the ass, a working man's coffee

John
Shitty coffee is great

Ben
Hey Guy! Want some shitty coffee!

screaming in the living room, everyone runs there

Steve
What's wrong Colin Van Winkle!

Colin VW
The Travelogue will be erased!











5 comments:

  1. The only issue I have with it is that I ask James to make poo poo tea, whereas in true life, James asks me to make poo poo tea.

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